Kayak Attack

Yesterday I bought a scale and weighed myself, and found that I weighed about 205 pounds. Appalled, I resolved to do some exercise today.

I kind of like kayaking, and can rent a kayak for two dollars at Lakewood, so I decided to do that. When I was about fifteen minutes in, my right leg went asleep. Either a nerve or artery had been pinched by my fat ass.

I paddled my way back at the same furious pace as I had paddled out. I'm not very keen on moderation when it comes to exercise, especially when I'm alone and have no one to slow me down.

I had a hell of a time pulling myself out of the boat when I got back to shore. I could stand if I locked my knee and walked as if I had a peg leg. An old guy that was about to head out on the lake helped me with the boat. After that, I collapsed on the grass for about five minutes. I then was overcome with an urge to crap and puke at the same time.

I hobbled over to the bathrooms, got myself a stall, and proceeded to empty my bowels and dry-heave for about fifteen minutes. I emerged, refreshed and able to walk, but my hands were shaking. I bumped into a couple of girls I know -- it's a pity I couldn't have gone back out on the lake with them.

I got my card back, turned in my jacket and paddle, and headed back to my Jeep, where I listened to the Garden State soundtrack for about ten minutes.

I guess I ought not to be too surprised -- I used to have to pull over to the side of the road and heave and hack during especially grueling bike rides. I haven't truly exercised in a long time though, so I guess that's why this time my reponse was so severe.

I do feel a bit refreshed now, though. I just need to learn some moderation.